For the Alberta NDP

How to lose an election in 5 easy steps

A party built by prairie socialists, currently speedrunning every way to throw it away. A step-by-step guide, closely observed.

Step one

Elect a Liberal to lead a labour party

Albertans have never trusted Liberals and never will. The NDP's roots are Tommy Douglas building the country's first public healthcare in Saskatchewan, and that spirit lives on. So hand the wheel to Naheed Nenshi and sand "New Democrat" down to "nervous Liberal." Your base is socialist Edmonton. Step one is spitting on it.

Step two

Run from everything your base believes

Go pro-pipeline. Make your peace with the war machine. Smile for the photo with Israel's ambassador, then have nothing to say when your people ask why. Cozy up to the Carney Liberals Albertans can't stand.

Not a mockup. Israel in Canada posted it to Facebook itself.

Step three

Run on "we are not the UCP"

Propose nothing else. It is a proven loser. Albertans take the real deal over conservative-lite every single time, so a softer conservative is not a pitch, it is a concession. Treat voters like they are smart. Give them policy, give them something to want from their government. Or give them a shrug, and lose politely.

Step four

Accept no criticism, ever

Not of the leader. Not of the political class running the show. Circle the wagons around the 1%, call every critic a wrecker, and watch the youth of your own party pick up their coats and leave. Terrible optics, and fatal for a movement. A party that cannot take a note from its own base is already writing its obituary.

Step five

Torch the youth and the organizers

Your power was never Liberal money. It is the kids who knock the doors, the volunteers who give what little they have, the bodies who show up because they believe. They stand on moral ground. Pose with apartheid and you snap it in half. There will never be enough Liberal money on Earth to replace the people you drove away.

Or, you know

Lean into the roots. Or lose.

The base is right there. Stop running from it. Be the party that fights for working people, names the war for what it is, and gives Albertans something to vote for. The people who win elections out here are the ones who mean it.

Mean it, or move over.

The good news

You don't even have to test it.

The Democrats already ran this exact playbook in 2024. They chased the centre, ran from the base, told the left to fall in line, and stood by the war on Gaza. Flawless execution. It delivered President Trump. Again.

So why run it twice?

The results are in. No need to reproduce them. lol